When Did The Word ‘Divorce’ Become Shameful?
The other day on my Facebook timeline, an old high school classmate – someone I consider to be quite progressive, by the way – posted a question to her followers: Why are we labeled ‘Divorced’? The correct term is ‘Single’.
I scrolled down to the comments which ranged from, “Hell yeah, Sister!” to “Ugh, the D word!”
I was confused.
I like my title. I like checking that box when I see it sitting there next to ‘single’. It makes me happy. It makes me feel strong.
It reminds me of all that I have overcome to be where and who I am today.
It reminds me that I was able to commit myself to another person and give it my all.
It reminds me that I honored that commitment when things got tough…really tough…and I hung in for as long as I could.
It reminds me that I was not only able to recognize when it was time to let go but also that I was able to act on that recognition.
It reminds me that in the aftermath of my divorce, I rebuilt my life financially, physically, mentally and emotionally.
It reminds me of my power. The same power that I took back from someone who never should have had it in the first place.
It reminds me that I am smart and strong – a lioness. It reminds me that I am Wonder Woman.
I wanted to comment on her post but I opted not to. There was a single girl celebration happening on her timeline and I didn’t want to kill the mood.
But, while part of me understood her point, I wanted to remind her how divorce brought her to the beautiful life she lived today. How she not only survived her divorce but she thrived after her divorce! Or how it was better to have loved and lost than….well, you know.
It’s up to each individual to decide if they are ‘single’ or ‘divorced’. It’s a personal choice that can be judged by no one. My hope is simply that the stigma of that title is eliminated for all that choose to use it.
Because quite frankly, I can’t remember the last time I heard a man being ashamed of the “D Word.”