My First Gray Hair, The Very Long Hour That Followed And What It All Taught Me

I’m over 50. So, for me to notice my first gray hair really shouldn’t have been all that big a deal. I get that. But in my defense, the hour of crying that followed came only after realizing that my uninvited guest brought friends. Many, many, many, MANY friends.

The one that I discovered first was easier to spot because the whole strand had turned gray and it was kind of resting above the rest of my hair. I actually mistook it for fishing line. I thought to myself, “How did this random strand of fishing line get in my hair? I don’t fish.”

When I tried to kind of brush it away I realized that it was growing out of my head. I tried to yank it out but by God, that stubborn little sucker was going nowhere. It was thicker than the rest of my hairs, with a totally different texture. I stared at it for a good five minutes. I feel like it was staring back.

It was then that I realized that this was no isolated resident. The whole neighborhood had gone to hell. Random patches of fishing line had sprouted up throughout my entire head.

Why had I not noticed this before? How long had this been going on? More importantly, what the hell was that random gray thing sticking out of my right eyebrow?

Admittedly, after my divorce, I had taken less than stellar care of myself. Between work, kids, meals, laundry and the myriad of other directions I seemed to be pulled in the course of one day, my ‘mirror time’ consisted of a quick post-shower peek into the 4-inch spot where I pointed my hair dryer so that I could part my hair.

But this new revelation changed the game. I looked closer to see the mustache that should have been waxed about a month ago and the errant hairs under what used to be a well-defined brow. Wait…have those crow’s feet always been there?

I decided in that moment (well, after an hour of sobbing, “Why, God? Why?”), that I needed to start caring about myself again. The extra 20 pounds (okay, 30) that I had been carrying around for the better part of a decade could not be good for me.

It got me thinking about gray hairs and their purpose. Yes, it’s because the pigment cells in our hair follicles gradually die as we age. I may be old but I do know how to use The Google. But it might also be nature’s gentle way of reminding us that our time is precious and that we need to honor it.

What kind of honor was I bringing to the gift of life by eating poorly, being overweight, not taking time out for myself and just not taking care of myself in general? That gray hair made me stop to appreciate where I was in my life’s timeline. That gray hair made me realize that whether I took care of myself or not that I was going to age and that with the aging, certain systems in my being were going to start to show signs of wear and tear. Why on earth wouldn’t I want to help myself as much as I could to slow down these processes or at the very least enter this period of my life with as strong a mind, body and soul as possible?

I ended up leaving the gray there. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do with it all but for now, for today, it serves as a reminder that I need to treat myself better and to be as strong as I can be in all areas of my life. I’ve started working out every day and have even lost a few pounds. I’m eating better and started a skincare routine. The improvement to my health and more importantly my attitude has been incredible. I feel energized in a way that I haven’t since I was in my twenties.

So, thank you, gray hair! Thank you for the beautiful gift you gave me and the reminder that life is freaking fantastic! We can peacefully coexist for now but eventually, we’re going to need to part ways (pun intended). Until that time comes, watch me take on the world with my best and healthiest self! #GrayHairDoCare