Deciding to Divorce: Assessing the Situation Honestly

Yes, the majority of the stories on our website definitely center on divorce – the decision, the process, the emotional and financial repercussions, the recovery. But that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily always the best choice.

Not every bad marriage needs to end in divorce. In the midst of the turbulence, you may think that things are so bad that there is no hope for your relationship. In some cases, it’s worth a look from outside all of the craziness.

What if there is still time to save your marriage? What if you and your partner could be on the same page for even a moment? What if you could communicate your needs in a productive way? What if you weren’t actually past the point of no return? That’s a lot of ‘what if’s’ but don’t you owe it to yourself to at least ask?

The expression about there being three viewpoints in any relationship rings true; there is her viewpoint, his viewpoint and what really happened. What if you could meet someplace in between those three places and start a dialogue.

If there is even a small chance at saving your marriage, don’t you think it’s worth examining? We’ve seen marriages come back from the brink of divorce and thrive. If you don’t at least explore the possibility that your marriage could be one of them, the unasked ‘what if’s’ could haunt you for a very long time.

The first step may be as simple (or difficult, depending on your situation) as sitting down with a 3rd party. It can be your clergy, a therapist, a marriage counselor…but sitting down with someone who can impartially listen to both sides and help you to sift through the wreckage can be invaluable. Of course, your partner may choose not to participate in this process, which may in itself bring your closer to your decision.

If you determine that divorce is the road to take, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone deserves to be happy and unhappy marriages fail to thrive for many different reasons. Some of those reasons are out of our control. That being said, divorce shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s not a decision that should be made in haste or in anger or as a punishment for your partner. In a perfect world, the process should start with as peaceful of an understanding as possible between the two parties that every avenue for reconciliation has been exhausted.

Divorce is one of the most difficult and stressful decisions that we may ever be faced with. Once it’s finalized, it’s forever. Before you go down that road just be sure it’s where you’re supposed to be. If not, there’s always time to change your direction.

Print this article and sit your partner down and ask them to read it. Try to open up an honest dialogue about your options. Whatever happens, you’ll walk away from that table knowing that you’ve attempted to truly assess the health of your marriage.